Catherine Taylor



The Never Ending Fight of My Life

Hi my name is Catherine Taylor and I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013. I was stage 2 and my cancer was very aggressive. My life shattered after you results and I became very terrified and paranoid of the reoccurring of the cancer coming back and I am also suffering from nerve damage called neuropathy which gotten worse than before. It spreaded through my whole entire body which is very uncomfortable and painful, but all I can do is cry, get very angry and or do nothing but sleep to keep from dealing with it. I am 1year cancer free and it just keep getting. worse. I am in the mix of seeing a specialist for testing to see what’s causing the neuropathy to spread throughout my body. I am also dealing with lymthodema in my left arm and both legs, very painful when it flairs up. I just feel like nothing is never going to get right with me again, but I tries to continue to fight, but sometimes I ask myself why because nothing is helping. I am trying to move forward, but it seems like I move forward 1 step and slide back 2, so I finally called to get into a support group, but awaits for a phone call back to get in, I also took a step an did the cancer walk for Making Strive For. Breast. Cancer, and I made it and felt good about it, but paid for it the rest of the day. I am trying so hard to get closure in my life and I feel that doing the, joining a support group ad writing a book about my life will give me my closure, but I do not no anything about writing a book. I also a have a fear at times of falling asleep because of what was said to me by the radiation doctor and the one of the staff at the Cancer of American about me dying if I don’t get my medical change from a Hmo to a PPO and if I did not do chemo, I can die, so that fear never left me, and from time to time I find myself jumping out my sleep because I think that I might not wake up. My life is very tense, scary, and paranoid, but so painful with lots of frustration. So I ask myself from time to time, why me, but never came up with an answer to my question.