After undergoing a Bilateral Mastectomy, I was convinced my beauty had been taken from me. If I am being completely honest, I was left feeling embarrassed and so much “less than.” I found myself crossing my arms when anyone was approaching, wearing very baggy tops and constantly thinking about the absence of my breasts.
I’m not sure if we women even realize the full scope of the importance of our boobies…or do we? It is no secret that breast augmentation is an epidemic, along with cleavage-revealing clothing. Let’s face it, there is a profound sense of beauty and sexuality placed upon them!
So now with them taken from me, where did that leave my sense of attractiveness? In the gutter, that’s where! Why not reconstruct? My health did not allow me to. Why not wear prosthetic ones? I am not completely certain, but they just did not feel “right.” I have a strong faith in God, and while I could not understand why He allowed such a thing to happen to me, I also knew that I had to remain the authentic person that I am. Fake anything have always left a strong distaste in my mouth and this would be no different.
It took quite a while to completely adjust to the new me, I am not going to lie. I believe the only reason it took so long was my own head playing tricks on me. When I thought folks were staring, turns out they didn’t even notice! I tortured myself over something I felt ashamed of and why? I did not cause this or wish this upon myself. It is something that happened TO me. Once I truly realized that, everything changed.
My amazing husband never loved me one bit less because he, and my gracious God, always think I am absolutely beautiful…perfect in every way, and my kids and friends find it so admirable that I do not succumb to anything other than authenticity. Ladies, our beauty NEVER comes from the size of our boobs or any physicality; it comes from our hearts! After all, if we put our worth or importance in our looks, where will we be when they completely fade?
Even though the journey was a tough one, I have learned so much from it. I now wear my scars proudly and have even crowned myself a warrior for Breast Cancer!
If you have been through a mastectomy already, are about to undergo one, or someday down the road find out you will, PLEASE accept the new you sooner than later! Do not do what I did and waste way too much time on vanity! I promise you, you will be just as…if not more…beautiful than you have always been.