My journey began on April 5, 2018. I was in radiation therapy when my pastor asked me to share some thoughts….. Mercy….merciful….grace…gratitude….fear……faith….hope….Love. All comes to mind when I look back at my continued journey that was blessed upon me, my family and our friends. To hear the words while walking through the grocery store parking lot “you have Breast cancer” was an instant whirlwind of all of those words and feelings. You ask was God merciful to me through this cancer journey and the answer is yes! Immediately after I heard you have cancer. God’s mercy was not by accident or weakness it was intentional! And not just by his strength but in his truth and kindness to show me and the rest of us that in his timing we will rise through tragedy, grow through our experiences, ask for forgiveness, give thanks in our weaknesses and say yes when we drop to our knees with grace. The following weeks of this journey became over whelming in my thoughts as I continued to process all of the information after what seemed like thousands of appointments and words! Words that consumed me to the point of running away, running away from God, running away from my family. Behind all of my tears, behind all of my screaming behind the wheel, With his mercy he led me home. To my driveway that I’ve called home for many years. I put it in park, grabbed my steering wheel, looked up to the sky and said Lord help me! Help me be who I’m supposed to be through this, give me strength, courage and patience to hear you, see you, trust you. Please embrace my family, friends and Doctors.
My step dad pulled up in the drive way, held me while I cried until I stopped. His mercy never left my side! And I knew it first hand on my worst day in bed when I asked him to give me the strength to get up out of this bed because I feel like I’m going to drown. his mercy touched my family, his mercy gave me the words to post on my Facebook journey, his mercy took my words and gave people hope, his mercy took my words and made me and others realize that we should count our blessings in all circumstance, he was merciful through every pain, through every tear, through every prayer. He showed me mercy when my family and friends would show up at our door when my husband was feeling exhausted and they brought us meals, when we weren’t sure if we had money to put gas in his car and blessings showed up in the mailbox, his mercy showed up in my Facebook comments when I couldn’t sleep and so many people gave words of praise, encouragement and prayers. Your calls, texts, gifts of love and constant thoughts and prayers embraced our family when we needed it most. His mercy assured me we are humans trying to live in a world of sin and forgiveness, sickness and health, pain and peace, that your circumstances are what you make of it with or with out him, and if you allow him to be merciful when you think you can’t make it, or you think your having a bad day, ask him Lord have mercy on me. Give him thanks, take a breath, smile, let your situations big or small pass through you with his strength and know that in his presence….. we are strong! ❤️
I am now 6 months post chemo and radiation therapy from Invasive Ductal Carcinoma 1.2 cm. Ductal carcinoma in Situ extent 1.6 cm in the lower-outer quadrant of my left breast. Very aggressive with an onco score of a 54. I’m recovery slowly but surely, my circulatory system is struggling but my integrative oncologist is helping me!