MORE Than… I am MORE than PINK…. I’ve known this, I knew this before I was ready to embrace the PINK. I had breast cancer and when you have breast cancer you go to the breast cancer wing and when I say everything is pink; I mean even the MRI is PINK. I remember wanting a BLUE gown, fighting the pink, not ready to surrender to it. Guess what? I never did surrender, I took charge of my life, I made decisions that have scarred and changed me inside and out, and eventually, I embraced the pink.
I tell people I had breast cancer but I am always quick to explain that I was LUCKY. I have annual mammograms. That’s how my cancer was found. I didn’t have to go through radiation or chemotherapy, see I told you I was lucky! What I had to face was cancer. I had to face how to deal with it and what to do with it. I had choices. I made the best choice for myself. I took the one breast off; a unilateral mastectomy. Every day I am reminded that I have a foob, it is tight and feels foreign sitting on top of my chest. I look down and see a smaller foob and a larger BOOB. Yup! It’s an interesting view.
A lot of my healing has been in the acceptance of my new appearance. I am imperfect, always was, but man have I spent a good part of my life striving for what I see as perfection. I have come to understand that acceptance is a day to day mantra. I strive to be healthy, to feel good, and a big part of that is exercising and eating well but I would be lying if I told you I was at the point of total acceptance. I’m not and may never be. Maybe that makes me who I am? I am someone who is always searching for the balance, wanting to learn, to grow, to be open, and to transform into something MORE. I feel empowered, I feel whole, I feel loved MORE for my imperfections than ever before. I am still finding my voice and my courage to face this ONE life but I know I do not walk alone. I am MORE than PINK, I am MORE than all the challenges and mountains I’ve climbed. I am MORE than a daughter, mother, partner, more than the bada** woman covered MORE in tattoos. Haha! Yes, I know I am so much MORE. My sisters who face this battle, I am here willing you acceptance and sending you strength. We are ONE and WE are MORE… always. I am forever grateful to my friends and family that held me tight and helped me through this time in my life and for all of you who donated to the RIDE to Conquer Cancer, two years ago now. WE made a difference!