Mari Montesano, patient navigator and manager of Komen’s Breast Care Helpline, discusses how she and her team provide support and guide patients through the emotional and mental challenges of a breast cancer diagnosis.
No one should ever have to face a breast cancer diagnosis alone. After the unexpected shock, most people experience a tidal wave of emotions as they face an overwhelming amount of new information. While patients struggle to find their bearings, there is an urgent need for someone who can offer a listening ear and validate their feelings while addressing their questions, fears and concerns. As a patient navigator in Komen’s Patient Care Center (PCC), providing this lifeline of support is the heart of our work.
While providing emotional support to patients can be challenging, I find this part of my work here at Komen the most rewarding, as I feel privileged to help them get through one of the hardest moments in their lives. What is only a moment for me is their entire world at the moment. I am there to listen and provide vital tools for their toolbox to help them through this difficult time. Here are just a few ways that we provide compassionate, personalized care through the PCC.
- We Guide Patients Through the Complex Emotions of a Diagnosis
When patients are feeling overwhelmed or anxious, I first let them know that they are not alone and with all the unknowns, this time can be isolating. I encourage them to feel however they need to feel. I walk them through how the next few months may be a rollercoaster of emotions. Normalizing the feelings that patients have is very important, and I provide a safe space for them to express how they are feeling.
For those who are dealing with complex emotions about their diagnosis, like fear and uncertainty, I think it can be helpful to name the emotion and pinpoint what’s driving it, such as fear of death, fear of side effects, etc. Focusing on the emotion can help people work through it and ultimately take more control of what they’re feeling.
Some people benefit from specific techniques or resources to manage emotional stress. I really encourage focusing on things we can control, even little things, like what you can make for dinner. I will provide examples of different grounding techniques that may help when an individual is in an active state of anxiety, such as breathing exercises (breathing in for five seconds, holding for five seconds and exhaling for five seconds) or the five senses (identifying one thing you can see, touch, hear, smell and taste).
I also discuss support options such as peer support and support groups. Peer support can be helpful as it will connect individuals with someone who is going through the same type of diagnosis. This can really help individuals not feel alone as they experience these new feelings.
- We Encourage Patients and Their Loved Ones to Seek Support from Others
A new diagnosis can be challenging for patients and their friends or family. It can be difficult for both patients and loved ones as they do not want to put pressure on each other when they know they are both feeling a lot of things. Encouraging both parties to find support outside of each other is very important.
We know that patients are often reluctant to burden their loved ones with the full reality of what they are facing. It can also be hard for a patient to have loved ones who want to provide constant support and be with them during this difficult period. I always encourage patients to provide tangible things for loved ones to do to help, such as doing laundry, grocery shopping or bringing a meal, taking them to and from appointments, etc.
I encourage loved ones or caregivers to remember to take care of themselves too, as they will not be able to care for their loved ones if they do not take care of their fundamental needs first. I also encourage them to find a safe space to express how they are feeling to others as they deal with this new “normal.”
“If you ever need support, whether it’s just someone to talk to or help connecting to mental health resources, our doors at the PCC are always open.”
- We Help Reframe Difficult Emotions
I recently helped an individual who reported high emotional distress. She was recently diagnosed with a recurrence, and it had been 20 years since her first breast cancer diagnosis. She had a lot of anxiety about the side effects of her chemotherapy treatment, including losing her hair. We talked about her first diagnosis and the stage of life she was in at that time and how this diagnosis was different.
I validated her feelings and acknowledged all that she has gone through up to this point. I helped her to reframe how she was viewing chemotherapy and identify things she could control, such as using a cooling cap to help prevent hair loss.
We have spoken a couple of times since she finished her chemotherapy. She says she is thankful for our conversations and how much they helped her. I listened and gave her the space to help her process her feelings. Through our conversations, I helped her change the way she viewed this recurrence and treatment plan and helped her to feel more in control.
- We Meet Patients Where They Are
Komen’s PCC has patient navigators to help support individuals in what they are going through, from the first moment of a new diagnosis to every step that follows. We provide emotional support and connections to vital resources. We connect individuals to different support services, including social workers at their cancer centers.
Our PCC navigation services are available to everyone in our diverse breast cancer community. For callers who speak a language other than English, we utilize our language line translation services, which can support over 150 languages. We also have Spanish-speaking navigators to support those who speak Spanish. Our navigators are trained and equipped to remove barriers to care like insurance concerns or issues with transportation that often result in disparities for patients from under-resourced communities.
We know that nothing can prepare you for the moment you get a breast cancer diagnosis, but our navigators strive to meet every individual where they are and provide emotional support based on what they need at that moment.
We’re honored to take these first steps with you. If you ever need support, whether it’s just someone to talk to or help connecting to mental health resources, our doors at the PCC are always open.
Do you need help with a breast cancer diagnosis? We’re here for you!
Call 1-877-465-6636 or email helpline@komen.org to get started.
The Helpline is available Monday through Thursday, 9 a.m. – 7 p.m. (ET) and Friday, 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. (ET).
Se habla español.
Komen has educational resources available to help you deal with your own diagnosis here,
We also have resources to help those who are supporting someone with breast cancer here.
